This week has been hard. Like, really hard. My blog has been primarily about fitness and fun. All of which was and is, actually my life. But I have been contemplating how authentic I have been living my life.
With the way social media has become such a big part of our everyday, we see glimpses of peoples lives - the parts they want to share. I can't blame anyone who edits their life for social media. I do too. You only want to talk about the good - trips, exciting life events, marriage, proposals, births, birthdays, vacations, etc. We rarely share the "bad". And I don't blame anyone. We all have that / those friend(s) who always share the most depressing, negative, sad parts of their lives and we all kinda wish they would edit sometimes, right?
After this hard week / weekend I have had, I have been thinking about my past mistakes. What part I have played in all of this. I believe my fault lies in being and being perceived as inauthentic. I want to try and live my life more authentically. Not just in social media (I mean, no one loves an over-sharer), but in life. Like, real life. I have the habit of often laughing things off easily. I sometimes edit truths, to spare hurt feelings. I often try to suppress any bad or negative feelings to try and get back to happiness. I have made mistakes in my past - actions that don't necessarily reflect my feelings, or aren't the most authentic way to dealing with my emotions. I find that can seem and feel inauthentic.
I want to strive for an authentic, real, whole-hearted life. I want real love. I want the real happiness, joy, and love that comes with it. But I also want to experience and authenticate the real struggle. The real work that it takes. The ups and downs that come with life. I believe much of the joy and happiness we feel may be determined by the pain that precedes. If that is the case, I feel like I have so much joy, happiness, and love coming my way. Because right now, I feel consumed by the pain.