Monday, November 2, 2015

Control. Halt. Delete.

As you may have read in my previous post here you kinda figured out that I have recently become single, and not necessarily by my choosing.  I have been challenged with the idea of removing any sign of our relationship from my social media accounts.  At what point do we erase someone from our life?  And I am not talking the 16 year old version of removing pictures from our clear view binder.  I am not even talking about the 23 year old version of burning the shoe box of memories.  I am talking the 30-something version of taking photos off of the wall, stopping the social media connection, and the hundreds of photos of past trips and memories 'shared'.

I had quickly become aware that I had been deleted, possibly blocked, even.  We are no longer connected.  My photos have come down and the past year was erased as though I, and the love and life we shared, never existed in the matter of minutes.  When do we make the decision to remove that person from our life?  When we know they will never return again?  Do we take down the photos to move forward without the imprint of a past mistake?  Should we delete the person from our world to move on and never look back?

I have yet to delete him from my life.  Maybe it is because I don't want to forget the wonderful memories we shared.  I don't want to erase the photos of a person I love and care about so deeply.  Maybe I am hanging on to a moment in time when I was quite possibly the happiest I had ever been.  Although it is now in my past, it is still a part of my life that I would never want to forget.  And I am not ready to erase that.

After one (of many) long conversations with my BFF, I was told "Delete his pictures.  Erase it!".  To which I replied, "I will eventually".  Or will I?  I have thought about taking them down, but I continue to halt before I delete.

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