Living a More Authentic Life

This week has been hard.  Like, really hard.  My blog has been primarily about fitness and fun.  All of which was and is, actually my life.  But I have been contemplating how authentic I have been living my life. 

With the way social media has become such a big part of our everyday, we see glimpses of peoples lives - the parts they want to share.  I can't blame anyone who edits their life for social media.  I do too.  You only want to talk about the good - trips, exciting life events, marriage, proposals, births, birthdays, vacations, etc.  We rarely share the "bad".  And I don't blame anyone.  We all have that / those friend(s) who always share the most depressing, negative, sad parts of their lives and we all kinda wish they would edit sometimes, right?

After this hard week / weekend I have had, I have been thinking about my past mistakes.  What part I have played in all of this.  I believe my fault lies in being and being perceived as inauthentic.  I want to try and live my life more authentically.  Not just in social media (I mean, no one loves an over-sharer), but in life.  Like, real life.  I have the habit of often laughing things off easily.  I sometimes edit truths, to spare hurt feelings.  I often try to suppress any bad or negative feelings to try and get back to happiness.  I have made mistakes in my past - actions that don't necessarily reflect my feelings, or aren't the most authentic way to dealing with my emotions.  I find that can seem and feel inauthentic.

I want to strive for an authentic, real, whole-hearted life.  I want real love.  I want the real happiness, joy, and love that comes with it.  But I also want to experience and authenticate the real struggle.  The real work that it takes.  The ups and downs that come with life.  I believe much of the joy and happiness we feel may be determined by the pain that precedes.  If that is the case, I feel like I have so much joy, happiness, and love coming my way.  Because right now, I feel consumed by the pain.